i am hotboxting in a winnipeg hostel bathroom alone out of what feels like complete and utter apathy

my ex boyfriend just texted me asking how to resize an image on tumblr

he posted a photo of his current girlfriend on instagram eating christmas themed sugar cookies naked in his bed

i just received a text from him that said 'nm i got it'

yesterday i felt like i had a 'bonding experience' with a no longer really friend of his

she is the roommate of my friend caroline who is francophone and wears cat-eyed glasses

i was supposed to stay at caroline's house for the holidays, but caroline's boyfriend (who is also my friend) and her roommate (who apparently was not fond of me) decided they didn't want me to. i received word of this by facebook, with a message sent at 10:43 am 2.5 days ago that started with the word 'hi' and ended with the word's 'i love you'. she told me i had to leave by today, so now i am in a hostel

i desperately feel like posting a photo on instagram of a print-out painting of a dog on the hallway wall of the hostel i am in, but i am nervous about leaving and making my room smell like weed, so i will wait longer until i can do so

i feel so connected and disconnected to the world that i want to rip my skin off my bones and throw them around the world to connect with difference spaces more efficiently

i will probably send this blog post to a friend

i feel anger towards her

i don't know why

if the world was primarily constructed by kale smoothies and half-eaten eclairs i would be fine with that