i am on day 2 of a 10 day fast. i feel hungry, nauseous and lightheaded. i have consumed 2 liters of water today 

tonight some friends from winnipeg played a show at a bar called 'the supermarket' in toronto

it felt weird being around them while sober. i haven't been completely sober in ~3 months 

i felt genuinely happy for the first time in ~4 months while watching them play 

everyone seemed excited to see each other 

i was very animated when talking and wanted to touch everyone 

i feel some sort of gratification from physically touching people lately

after the show some of us decided to go to my house. we had to carry their instruments back to their hotel and when we got there everyone decided they wanted chinese food. i lied and said i was tired to avoid explaining why i wasn't eating or drinking. i was upset that they decided to go and eat instead of coming to my house but i didn't say anything because it was cold outside and i didn't want them to feel bad

while walking to the subway my phone stopped working because of the cold

an asian couple got on the subway at the same time as me. the boy took out his iphone and started playing music at a low volume, and they both leaned in to listen to it. it offended me that they didn't just sit in silence or talk to each other and listened to drake instead

i just took 1mg ativan and 6mg melatonin

i am watching charlie chaplain videos on youtube