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my experience with the mcrib

after learning the elusive 'mcrib' was back at mcdonalds, i felt it was time to answer some questions i have re the flavour and general mcrib experience. i have been growing less and less fond of barbecue sauce since i was in middle school (not sure what the exact event was that caused this). the last time i remember consuming ribs was at an applebees with my grandparents in 2001 and even though i am certain that there was bbq sauce on said ribs, the flavour of those ribs and my current experiences with bbq sauce do not match up. i would like to clarify my taste towards ribs and bbq sauce generally, and felt that this was a good way to do so

the first step was to go into a mcdonalds and purchase said sandwich

i try to avoid mcdonalds usually because i find most depressing and i would like to avoid binge eating there weekly like i did in the winter of last year. there is a group of large looking men standing near the counter and i feel apprehensive about approaching

i order my sandwich and while waiting i notice a woman masturbating outside the washroom. the cashier hands me my order and i run home in the rain so it doesn't get cold

next i smoke 2 joints because i feel like i can appreciate the various 'notes' of the sandwich better while stoned. the box itself has pork and barbecue related imagery covering it, including an outline of a pig on a blackboard and a scoop of what could be flour or cocaine

appearance: the bun has tiny granules of what appear to be cornmeal and looks similar to a hotdog bun that has been folded open. the sandwich contains pickles, onions, pork and barbecue sauce. this is the only oblong sandwich that mcdonalds offers. they order in specific buns to fit the shape of the meat

first bite: the meat itself is ~.50cm thicker than i expected it to be... flavour is heavy, very barbecue-y and overshadowed by the gratuitous amount of onions. there are two pickles on the sandwich in total but i feel there should be at least ~7. my fingers are covered in barbecue sauce already. the meat is very sponge like, almost porous

mid-way: i think this would go well with french fries and i wish i had bought some. the burp i just had tasted ~30% better than the sandwich. i'm stoned enough that i am enjoying the act of eating but not necessarily the actual food

i just realized i am using an old pizza box as a plate, seems depressing

i feel sort of sick now, the graininess of the top bun feels unnatural and unnecessary

i have thought 'i need a smoothie' multiple times while eating this

final bite: my stomach feels unnaturally bloated, which makes me nervous about having to poop later/possibly throwing up. this sandwich has solidified my distate for barbecue sauce. i am still unsure how i feel re rib meat as this does not feel like an accurate representation of what rib meat is usually like

if i were to give the mcrib a rating i would give it a 4/10. i learned recently that it only goes on sale when pork prices are at their lowest, and while this doesn't necessarily mean the meat is lower quality, it still somehow feels dirtier and more 'bad for you'. i would say the cornmeal on top of the bun, coupled with the foamy feel of the meat makes for an unpleasant but manageable overall texture. the lack of pickles contributed to the poor flavour, however with at least 7 pickles and -50% of the onions i feel like the flavour would have been greatly improved. if the sauce was maybe a mix of sweet and sour sauce and sriracha i would have rated it at least a 7/10

the mcrib would be a great halloween costume or household mop


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